cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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