Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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