He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
