There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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