Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
