I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
