i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
