i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize