I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
