Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Drunk is not a location!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
