K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i came on her dog
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
