don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
