I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
