His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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