was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
