What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize