Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
