my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
