I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
