therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
