My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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