Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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