I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize