So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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