so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
