I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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