its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
