If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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