3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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