that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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