evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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