sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
