i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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