I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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