that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
