My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm always down for nudity.
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