i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
