I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize