can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
