When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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