I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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