weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
