I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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