im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize