She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
