just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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