: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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