We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
