and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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