k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
where am i from again
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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