before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
