I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
