OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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