he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
