I hope mine doesn't look like that
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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