Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
