I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
