so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
