I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
