Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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