Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
