You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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