I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
