He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
