with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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