lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
