PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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