Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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