I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize